I had been Christmas shopping. At least I had been trying to do some Christmas shopping. I had not been very successful. In fact I had not been at all successful. Nothing seemed to be suitable. Giving up, I decided to go into a bookshop on Piccadilly before heading home. I knew that in the basement they had some bargain books so I went down the stairs and through the door.
As I entered the basement, there seemed to be a strange atmosphere. Something was not quite right. Then I noticed the hat moving around. From the way it was moving there must be a person under the hat, but the hat was so broad that it was difficult to see. It was as broad as a sombrero but flatter. It was completely flat apart from a small dome towards the middle of the hat. It seemed to be a very large hat but a very small head. It was dark red, perhaps crimson. Who would wear such a hat in a bookshop ?
As I moved towards the bargain books, the hat moved towards the assistant behind his large desk. The hat leaned forward to talk to the assistant. It was only then from my view from the bargain books that I had a glimpse of the person under the hat. It was only a brief glimpse but I could make out that the person was female and she looked like a young actress who was in a play in nearby Shaftesbury Avenue. There had been a story about how she had been attacked on the way to the theatre a few days before. Despite the incident she had “bravely” performed in the play that evening.
If it was her, it would explain the hat. She would have not wanted to be recognised and she would have worn the hat for protection. Clearly she was not used to wearing hats apart from special occasions such as weddings, so had ended up with an absurdly large hat. In trying to hide herself, she had unwittingly draw attention to herself as nobody could fail to spot such a wide-brimmed hat. It must have been awkward to wear, as while it stopped other people seeing your face it also hindered you seeing where you were going. She did have a female companion with her, presumably as a guide.
I just needed another look to confirm that it really was the actress. It so happened that the bargain books were the perfect position. In order to leave she would have to walk around the assistant’s desk and turn left just before the bargain books to the door to go upstairs. I just had to wait for her to leave.
She took a while talking to the assistant but then her companion walked towards the door. Her companion had short blonde hair and looked quite cute in jeans. She had that peculiar smile on her face while looking at the floor as she left. The hat paused before leaving. It was working out beautifully. The companion left through the door as the hat gathered up her shopping bags and started walking towards me. She even lifted up her head so I should get a good look before she turned to go out the door.
But then 2 things went wrong, 2 things that I had not anticipated. The first was that because of the broad rim of the hat her face was completely in shadow. I could not see her face at all. The second thing was that she was looking straight at me. I was not wearing a hat, so, although I could not see her face, she could see mine. Indeed there was a moment when our eyes seemed to meet. Assuming her eyes were in the right positions I must have been looking right into them but I could see nothing.
The moment soon passed and she turned towards the door. She seemed not to react, but then after she had gone out the door she suddenly said very loudly “How embarrassing !” She was clearly saying it to her companion who must have been waiting on the stairs. However what the actress was probably not aware was that the door had not fully shut behind her and her remark was clearly audible in the room she had just left. Nobody seemed to react in the room. The door then shut behind her so the rest of the conversation could not be heard.
So what was so embarrassing ? Had I missed something ? Was it really the actress or was it somebody completely different ? I tried to think things through. I think she was embarrassed because she was not aware that I could not see her face when our eyes met. Even then it should be me who was embarrassed, not her. Perhaps her companion had deliberately gone out ahead and that the actress had for some reason wanted to get a look at me, only to find me looking at her. But why would she want a look at me ?
Possibly she was just embarrassed about the awkwardness of the hat or she had had some problems with the assistant. Perhaps it was something that happened before I entered the scene. Perhaps it was not the actress. Sometimes it is better not to know and allow yourself to come to your own theory, but the moral of the story seems to be to always make sure the door is shut behind you before you say anything, unless you want to be overheard.
©Conor Cotter
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(The actress was Tara Fitzgerald. For her biography, see this web page )
